There are four
major ways people resolve trauma:
Watch this video to hear me hold forth about this:
Or read details here:
1. They connect with a
future with possibilities
Most people who have been traumatized are focused on
the past. Or at least some part of them seems frozen in
time at some moment or moments in the past. This past
focus makes sense as a survival strategy since people
are often wary of re-encountering that which hurt,
frightened or damaged them so it will be less likely to
happen in the future.
But most people who are suffering the after-effects of
trauma are no longer in the original traumatizing
situation and are unlikely to encounter it again. Still
they monitor the present (or the future) for something
akin to what hurt them. This monitoring is based on the
past.
In order to
move on, then, focusing on imagining and connecting to
a future without the trauma or the traumatic
after-effects can help you move on.
Learn to use the "Future Pull" method of resolving
trauma by downloading this audio program.
Here is a link to buy an audio program in which I am
talking to a group of therapists about using the future
to heal trauma. It is an hour long program and is
available for $14.00 (USD). It is an MP3 file, so you
can transfer it to your iPod or MP3 player or transfer
it to a CD and listen to it on a CD player.
2. They break up
repeating unhelpful patterns
People who have experienced trauma often develop
patterns that repeat themselves for years after the
trauma. The patterns may involve seeing images from the
trauma, acting out behaviors that seems out of control,
smelling scents that intrude upon them, reacting to
sound that remind them of the traumatic event(s), and
so on. Sometimes they develop obsessive rituals or
compulsive patterns.
One of the ways out of trauma, then, is to learn to
recognize and change these patterns. Listen to this
audio and download this e-workbook to learn how to heal
trauma by breaking patterns. [Audio and e-book to come
soon-please check back]
3. They include
feelings, thoughts, memories and aspects of themselves
that they have disowned or kept at
bay
We see this in an extreme version in "multiple
personality," in which a person splits him- or herself
into pieces to cope with and store bits of memory,
sensation and pain from the trauma because it is just
too overwhelming to handle. But many of us have parts
of ourselves that become split off (dissociated) and
are therefore not integrated with the rest of who we
are.
The dissociated aspects of ourselves often develop a
life of their own and wreak havoc in our lives. They
may be involved in compulsive or shameful sexuality;
uncontrollable rage; bouts of overwhelming sadness or
fear; compulsive or addictive drinking or drug use and
other problems.
One of the ways to heal involves including, in active
and gentle ways, those aspects that have been excluded
and disowned. I call this inclusive therapy. I have
written a book on it, called A Guide to Inclusive
Therapy,
published by W.W. Norton. And, if you are interested in
learning more right now, you can download this audio
program or e-book that will tell you about how to
recognize and resolve this area of trauma. [Audio and
e-book to come soon-please check back]
4. They connect in
places they have disconnected
One of the most common negative effects of trauma is
that people disconnect from themselves, others and from
a bigger meaning or purpose (or God or spirituality).
Disconnecting seems to be a natural protective
mechanism, to withdraw from the possibility of getting
hurt further or being overwhelmed by the feelings,
sensations or memories of the trauma. The problem
comes, however, when the disconnection lingers on long
after the trauma and creates problems of it own.
When people disconnect from themselves (called by
psychologists and psychotherapists, "dissociation"),
they often use lots of energy to keep the disconnected
feelings, sensations or memories at bay. They can also
lose some valuable resources. And they can begin to
feel hollow or numb in certain aspects of their lives,
like something essential or crucial is missing.
When people disconnect from others, they can feel
isolated, alienated, lonely or frightened. They lose
some social support, which can lead to depression and
other problems.
When people disconnect from a larger sense of life, or
from God, or their spiritual sensibilities, they can
lose meaning and feel that all is bleak or useless.
So, one of the ways to move on from trauma is to
reconnect.
Learn about the seven pathways for connection and how
to reconnect in this downloadable audio.
Seven Pathways to
Connection audio download:
This is a recording of a talk I gave to a group of
therapists working with PTSD about helping discover how
people disconnect and connect in the wake of trauma.
You can buy it for $8.00 (USD) by clicking on the link
button below. It is an MP3 file, so you can transfer it
to your iPod or MP3 player or transfer it to a CD and
listen to it on a CD player.
New e-book coming soon:
