There are four major
ways people resolve trauma:
Watch this video to hear me hold forth about this:
Or read details here:
1. They connect with a
future with possibilities
Most people who have been traumatized are focused on the
past. Or at least some part of them seems frozen in time at
some moment or moments in the past. This past focus makes
sense as a survival strategy since people are often wary of
re-encountering that which hurt, frightened or damaged them
so it will be less likely to happen in the future.
But most people who are suffering the after-effects of
trauma are no longer in the original traumatizing situation
and are unlikely to encounter it again. Still they monitor
the present (or the future) for something akin to what hurt
them. This monitoring is based on the past.
In order to move
on, then, focusing on imagining and connecting to a future
without the trauma or the traumatic after-effects can help
you move on.
Learn to use the "Future Pull" method of resolving trauma
by downloading this audio program.
Here is a link to buy an audio program in which I am
talking to a group of therapists about using the future to
heal trauma. It is an hour long program and is available
for $14.00 (USD). It is an MP3 file, so you can transfer it
to your iPod or MP3 player or transfer it to a CD and
listen to it on a CD player.
2. They break up repeating
unhelpful patterns
People who have experienced trauma often develop patterns
that repeat themselves for years after the trauma. The
patterns may involve seeing images from the trauma, acting
out behaviors that seems out of control, smelling scents
that intrude upon them, reacting to sound that remind them
of the traumatic event(s), and so on. Sometimes they
develop obsessive rituals or compulsive patterns.
One of the ways out of trauma, then, is to learn to
recognize and change these patterns. Listen to this audio
and download this e-workbook to learn how to heal trauma by
breaking patterns. [Audio and e-book to come soon-please
check back]
3. They include feelings,
thoughts, memories and aspects of themselves that they have
disowned or kept at bay
We see this in an extreme version in "multiple
personality," in which a person splits him- or herself into
pieces to cope with and store bits of memory, sensation and
pain from the trauma because it is just too overwhelming to
handle. But many of us have parts of ourselves that become
split off (dissociated) and are therefore not integrated
with the rest of who we are.
The dissociated aspects of ourselves often develop a life
of their own and wreak havoc in our lives. They may be
involved in compulsive or shameful sexuality;
uncontrollable rage; bouts of overwhelming sadness or fear;
compulsive or addictive drinking or drug use and other
problems.
One of the ways to heal involves including, in active and
gentle ways, those aspects that have been excluded and
disowned. I call this inclusive therapy. I have written a
book on it, called A Guide to Inclusive
Therapy,
published by W.W. Norton. And, if you are interested in
learning more right now, you can download this audio
program or e-book that will tell you about how to recognize
and resolve this area of trauma. [Audio and e-book to come
soon-please check back]
4. They connect in places
they have disconnected
One of the most common negative effects of trauma is that
people disconnect from themselves, others and from a bigger
meaning or purpose (or God or spirituality).
Disconnecting seems to be a natural protective mechanism,
to withdraw from the possibility of getting hurt further or
being overwhelmed by the feelings, sensations or memories
of the trauma. The problem comes, however, when the
disconnection lingers on long after the trauma and creates
problems of it own.
When people disconnect from themselves (called by
psychologists and psychotherapists, "dissociation"), they
often use lots of energy to keep the disconnected feelings,
sensations or memories at bay. They can also lose some
valuable resources. And they can begin to feel hollow or
numb in certain aspects of their lives, like something
essential or crucial is missing.
When people disconnect from others, they can feel isolated,
alienated, lonely or frightened. They lose some social
support, which can lead to depression and other problems.
When people disconnect from a larger sense of life, or from
God, or their spiritual sensibilities, they can lose
meaning and feel that all is bleak or useless.
So, one of the ways to move on from trauma is to reconnect.
Learn about the seven pathways for connection and how to
reconnect in this downloadable audio.
Seven Pathways to
Connection audio download:
This is a recording of a talk I gave to a group of
therapists working with PTSD about helping discover how
people disconnect and connect in the wake of trauma. You
can buy it for $8.00 (USD) by clicking on the link button
below. It is an MP3 file, so you can transfer it to your
iPod or MP3 player or transfer it to a CD and listen to it
on a CD player.
New e-book coming soon:
